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Bankers Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Bankers Jokes
show: 1 - 7 z 7
- How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
- Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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category: Bankers Jokes
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says
- "I've got a Rolls Royce - keep it until the loan is paid off - here are the keys."
The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000. Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him,
- "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?"
The man answers,
- "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
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category: Bankers Jokes
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him,
- "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?"
The young man answered,
- "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said,
- "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"
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category: Bankers Jokes
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
- "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
- "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
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category: Bankers Jokes
How bankers do it...
- Bankers do it risk-free.
- Bankers do it just for money.
- Bankers charge a fee each time they do it.
- Bankers do it with varying rates of interest.
- Bankers do it with a penalty for early withdrawal.
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category: Bankers Jokes
Jones applied to a finance agency for a job, but he had no experience. He was so intense that the manager gave him a tough account with the promise that if he collected it, he'd get the job. Two hours later, Jones came back with the entire amount.
- "Amazing!" the manager said. "How did you do it?"
- "Easy," Jones replied. "I told him if he didn't pay up, I'd tell all his other creditors he paid us."
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category: Bankers Jokes
A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window,
- "I want to open a fuckin' checking account"
To which the lady replied,
- "I beg your pardon, what did you say?"
- "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account right now."
- "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!"
The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked,
- "What seems to be the problem here?"
- "There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin' checking account in this damn bank!"
- "I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?"
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category: Bankers Jokes
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