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Blonde Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Blonde Jokes
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband,
- "shut up...you're next!"
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category: Blonde Jokes
A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced,
- "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said,
- "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?"
The blonde replied,
- "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
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category: Blonde Jokes
This blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and out comes a drink. So she puts some more change in and pushed another button and out comes a drink. She keeps putting change in and pushing buttons and getting drinks. Here comes a man and asks the blonde if she is gonna be through at this machine any time soon and she responds
- "I'm not gonna quit until I stop winning."
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category: Blonde Jokes
There was a blonde who was so dumb that she
a) locked herself in a restroom and wet her pants
b) got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
c) tripped over a cordless phone
d) tried to put m & m's in alphabetical order
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category: Blonde Jokes
A brunette was jumping up and down on a set of railroad tracks saying,
- "21,21,21."
A blonde walked by, noticed the brunette, started jumping up and down on the tracks and repeated what the brunette was saying. The brunette heard a train whistle and jumped off of the tracks. The blonde kept jumping and saying,
- "21,21,21."
The train ran over the blonde. When the train ended, the brunette jumped back on the tracks and started saying,
- "22,22,22."
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category: Blonde Jokes
The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "true/false" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - false for Heads and true for Tails. Within a half an hour, she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
- "I finished the exam in half an hour. But, "she says, "I am rechecking my answers."
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category: Blonde Jokes
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
- "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked,
- "Is it on or off?"
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category: Blonde Jokes
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