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Business Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Business Jokes
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The sales manager was wrapping up her pep talk to new staff members.
- “Just remember this,” she said. “Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.”
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category: Business Jokes
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software usually came as source code and was executed through an interpreter. He started a small business selling his custom software. One day at a scientific meeting, he noticed another company was showing the software with 'remarkably' similar functionality as his own. He wandered over to watch the demo and the longer he watched, the more familiar it looked. Eventually, when the sales gerbil had gathered a good crowd, he asked in a rather loud voice,
- “Are you using my copyrighted copy for this?”
- “Of course not!” the sales gerbil replied.
- “So, what happens if you press [key combination]?”
- “Nothing.”
- “Well, humor me. Do it for me.”
- “Ok, sir, but I can assure it you does...” and upon pressing the keys... the large screen popped up my boss' copyright notice. It was widely accepted as the biggest laugh of the show.
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category: Business Jokes
A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.
- "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
- "Well, they feel a bit tight." replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet.
- "Try pulling out on the tongue." offers the clerk.
- "Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.
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category: Business Jokes
The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who know are no problem. Those who don't know are also in two groups. One is those who don't know and know they don't know. Well, they can learn! But then, there are those who don't know, and don't know they don't know. And they become unit managers!
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category: Business Jokes
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away and in a short while had the set completely assembled.
- "It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions."
- "To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read and when you can't read, you've got to think."
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category: Business Jokes
Many years ago, a large American shoe company sent two sales representatives out to different parts of the Australian outback to see if they could drum up some business among the Aborigines. Some time later, the company received telegrams from both agents. The first said,
- "No business here... natives don't wear shoes."
The second one said,
- "Great opportunity here... natives don't wear shoes!"
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category: Business Jokes
This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. Consequently, it wound up that Nobody told Anybody, so Everybody blamed Somebody.
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category: Business Jokes
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