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Earth Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Earth Jokes
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Geologists have paleomagnetic personalities.
Geophysical exercise.
Geologists never lose their luster.
Geologists don't wrinkle, they show lineation.
Geologists are gneiss people, everyone else is just schist.
Orogenous zones and hot spots.
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category: Earth Jokes
Two Geologists are walking across a granite outcrop one day. The first says to the second
- "Hey, this terrain is unmetamorphosed".
Replies the second one,
- "No Schist".
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category: Earth Jokes
Geologists are amazing. They know hundreds of words for different sorts of dirt and hundreds of words for things it does when left alone for a few million years.
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category: Earth Jokes
An Irishman is walking towards the pearly gates and St.Peter stops him and says
- "Hey, where do you think you're going?"
- "Why?, I'm going to heaven of course" replied the Irishman.
St.Peter says,
- "Well you just don't walk into heaven, you have to earn it by doing something worthy, you must be deserving. Have you done anything worthy?"
The Irishman thinks for a while ... and says,
- "I'm the bravest man on earth"
- "How?" the St. Peter asks.
- "Because I walked down the streets of Belfast waving an Irish flag."
- "Oh! My!!... Really?" St. Peter looks amazed and asks further "When did you do this?"
The Irishman looks at his watch and says
- "Just five minutes ago."
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category: Earth Jokes
Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of dollar bills and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
- "What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank.
- "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze!!!"
Matt replies,
- "What...and we weren't?"
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category: Earth Jokes
One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all living creatures on Earth to die. To sort things out, everyone went to heaven. God came and said,
- "I want the men to form two lines. One line for the men who ruled their women on Earth and the other line for the men who were ruled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines. The line of men who were ruled by their women was 1,000 miles long, and in the line of men who ruled their women, there was only one man. God became angry and said,
- "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied,
- "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
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category: Earth Jokes
Top Advantages of An Asteroid Really Hitting Earth:
- For starters, you'd be able to surf in South Dakota.
- Wouldn't have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore.
- The one dinosaur on the planet (here's a clue..he's purple) would be extinct.
- We'd miss out on Tony Danza's or Jenny McCarthy's next sitcom.
- Puts a major damper on that Molly Hatchet/Judas Priest reunion tour.
- Pretty good chance that the Gorditas Dog from the Taco Bell commercials wouldn't survive.
- There'd be no more movies on the topic, that's for sure.
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category: Earth Jokes
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