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Food Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Food Jokes
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A lady went running to a doctor with a badly spoiled stomach.
- "What did you eat for dinner last night?" asked the doctor.
- "Oysters," she said.
- "Fresh oysters?" asked the doctor.
- "How should I know?" said the lady
- "Well," asked the doctor, "couldn't you tell when you took off the shells?"
- "My Gosh," gasped the lady. "Are you supposed to take off the shells?"
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category: Food Jokes
- Why is having a wank like eating McDonald's?
- Because it's always exactly the same and afterwards you swear you'll never do it again.
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category: Food Jokes
Waiter:
- "How did you find your steak, sir,"?
Young Man:
- "Quite accidentally, I assure you. I moved that piece of lettuce and there it was."
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category: Food Jokes
- "May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
- "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
- "Nothing special sir," he replied. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."
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category: Food Jokes
A homeless man walks into a diner with enough change for a cup of coffee. Seated next to him at the counter, was a well-dressed man with a bowl of
chili in front of him. A few minutes later, finishing his cup of coffee, the homeless man begins to notice that the stranger next to him is not eating his chili, but rather just staring at it, looking confused and disoriented. Not having eaten in two days, the homeless man asks the stranger:
- "Sir, I'm cold and hungry and haven't eaten in days. If you're not going to eat your chili, do you mind if I have it?"
With little acknowledgement, the stranger simply shoves the bowl in his direction. Minutes later, the homeless man, having nearly finished the entire bowl of chili, discovers, in the bottom of the bowl - a small pile of dog turds. Immediately, the homeless man becomes sick and vomits the chili back into the bowl. Finally, the stranger seated next to him turned to him and said
- "I know how you feel, buddy. That's about as far as I got, too."
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category: Food Jokes
- What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?
- They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns.
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category: Food Jokes
- What's red and invisible?
- No tomatoes.
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category: Food Jokes
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