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Idiot Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Idiot Jokes
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I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
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category: Idiot Jokes
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
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category: Idiot Jokes
My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question,
- "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
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category: Idiot Jokes
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear co worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said,
- "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often,"
Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.
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category: Idiot Jokes
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled,
- "What on earth are blind people doing driving!"
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category: Idiot Jokes
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked,
- "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
I said,
- "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly,
- "That's why we ask."
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category: Idiot Jokes
After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when
they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.
- "I'll grant each of you a single wish," said the genie.
- "I wish I was home," said the first man. Then, poof! he disappeared.
- "I wish I was home, too," said the second man. Poof! He disappeared too. The third man looked around.
- "Gee, I'm kind of lonely," he said. "I wish my friends were here with me."
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category: Idiot Jokes
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