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Jokes about Men
Jokes, funny texts - Jokes about Men
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Good girls pack their toothbrush.
Bad girls pack their diaphragms.
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category: Jokes about Men
Three guys go to a strip club. Trying to impress his friends, the first guy pulls out a ten-dollar bill and beckons one of the strippers over.
- "Watch this," the first guy says as he sticks the ten between the stripper's breasts.
- "That's nothing," the second guy says. Then he whips out a fifty and sticks it between her legs. "Let's see you top that."
The third guy shrugs.
- "Alright," he says. He takes out his ATM card.
- "What are you going to do with that?" the first guy asks.
The third guy swipes the card between the dancer's butt cheeks, takes the sixty dollars and goes home.
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category: Jokes about Men
A man was having a birthday party for his 21st birthday the other night. He was a scrawny little nerdy-looking guy. He was talking about his 21st birthday and what all his buddies got him for his birthday to another friend the next day. He told him his friends got him a sweater. He said,
- "I would have preferred screamer or a moaner, but the sweater was okay."
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category: Jokes about Men
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual. The doctor, addressing all three of them, said,
- "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."
The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice. While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead. His companions, somewhat shaken up, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said,
- "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."
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category: Jokes about Men
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery. The day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. The friend was amazed at the number of Nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc.
- "Why all the attention?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me."
- "I know!" grinned the patient. "But the Nurses kinda formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches."
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category: Jokes about Men
- What is the definition of nothing?
- When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures his nose.
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category: Jokes about Men
- Why do little boys whine?
- Because they are practicing to be men.
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category: Jokes about Men
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