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Marriage Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Marriage Jokes
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Last week, Gerald's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look many years younger. After a lengthy sitting in front the mirror applying the "miracle" products Gerald's wife asked,
- "Honey, honestly what age would you say I am?"
Looking her over very carefully, Gerald replied,
- "Judging from your skin, twenty; from your hair, eighteen; and from your figure, I'd say about twenty-five."
- "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.
- "And now," Gerald interrupted. "Adding them up, I have to say ..."
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category: Marriage Jokes
A wife comes home quite unexpectedly one afternoon, and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams,
- "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!"
Trying his best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says,
- "Take it easy Dear. Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"
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category: Marriage Jokes
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
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category: Marriage Jokes
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
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category: Marriage Jokes
A little boy asked his father,
- "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied,
- "I'm not quite sure, son. I'm still paying for it."
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category: Marriage Jokes
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
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category: Marriage Jokes
A husband and wife were having difficulty surviving financially, so they decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner and informed her he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A gentleman pulled up shortly after, and asked her how much to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. The husband told her to tell the client $100. She went back and informed the client at which he cried,
- "That's too much!" He then asked "How much for a handjob?"
She asked him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband said,
- "Ask for $40."
The woman ran back and informed the client. He felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. Upon the removal of his clothing the woman noticed that the man was exceptionally well-hung. She asked him once more to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again at which her husband asked,
- "Now what?"
The wife replied,
- "Can I please borrow $60?"
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category: Marriage Jokes
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