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Media Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Media Jokes
show: 8 - 14 z 14
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Former NBC news correspondent Judy Woodruff once had a chat with an oil rich Saudi sheik. At a dinner attended by members of the press accompanying former U.S. President Jimmy Carter on a visit to Saudi Arabia, the sheik expressed interest in the earning power of ABC's Barbara Walters.
- "Is it true that she earns a million dollars a day?" he asked.
- "No, no," Woodruff replied. "It's about a million dollars a year."
- "Oh," said the Saudi, his interest in Walters obviously waning. "Only a year."
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category: Media Jokes
As a television writer/researcher, I was working on an item that involved a debate. At the last minute it was cancelled, and I had to notify the participants, one of whom was named Singer. Telephoning his office, I was surprised to hear a pleasant female voice rattle off an unfamiliar company name.
- "Oh no," I said, realizing I had misdialed, "you don't sound like a Singer."
- "Heck no," she shot back. "We're not even allowed to hum around here."
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category: Media Jokes
A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a youth club: Interviewer:
- "So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?"
Mr. Jones:
- "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
Interviewer:
- "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
Mr. Jones:
- "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the range."
Interviewer:
- "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
Mr. Jones:
- "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm."
Interviewer:
- "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
Mr. Jones:
- "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute but you're not one, are you?"
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category: Media Jokes
Pinnochio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about consummating their passions.
- "Every time we make love," she said, "I get splinters!"
So he went back to his maker, Gipetto, the carpenter, to ask for advice.
- "Sandpaper my boy, that's what you need," was the carpenter's response.
A couple of weeks later the carpenter saw Pinnochio again,
- "How are you getting on with the girls now?"
- "Who needs girls?" replied Pinnochio!
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category: Media Jokes
Pharmaceutical companies that make birth control pills are telling teenage girls that taking the pill can help clear up their skin. Do you think that's true? I think there is a better chance of clearing up the boyfriend's skin ...
Fashion experts say that President Bush is helping bring back cowboy boots and cowboy hats. See, so it is not just for male strippers anymore ...
LeAnn Rimes apologized to fans for the quality of her new album. Isn't that unbelievable? If LeAnn Rimes has to apologize for her album, what the heck is Kathie Lee going to do, commit suicide?
In an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, Hugh Hefner admitted having 7 girlfriends, one for each night of the week ... Someone should tell him those are called nurses. He said they all have sex together in the same bed. He said Viagra makes it possible ... I think money makes it possible!
Surgeons in Britain amputated the hand of the world's first hand transplant patient because the guy requested it, after his body rejected it. How depressing is that? It's bad enough getting rejected by women, but guys, when your own hand turns you down?
According to a new government report, the military is running out of bullets. We are running out of ammunition! Oh good ... let's tell our enemies ... that's what I love about our country, you can't tell your sexual preference in the Navy, but you can tell our enemies we're running out of ammunition.
- "We don't have any bullets, and I can't tell you if I'm gay."
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category: Media Jokes
- What's long, green, thin, and smells like pork?
- Kermits finger!
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category: Media Jokes
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
- "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away! Further down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again-this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.
- "My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf, " says Little Red Riding Hood.
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away! About two miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.
- "My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that, the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams,
- "Will you get lost? I'm trying to take a shit!"
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category: Media Jokes
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