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Medical Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Medical Jokes
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A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with. The man said:
- "this is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said:
- "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said:
- "the best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $3000 a month in living expenses."
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category: Medical Jokes
A guy from Alabama was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the guy complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.
- "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked.
- "What do you think I've been doing," said the man, "shoving them up my ass?"
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category: Medical Jokes
An elderly woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says,
- "Well, then, let it read, "Billy Bob died."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says,
- "Sorry ma'am there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries."
Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says,
- "In that case, let it read, "Billy Bob died - 1983 pickup for sale."
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category: Medical Jokes
The first Doctor says:
- "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens."
The next Doctor says:
- "Me, I love doing surgery on Accountants, open them up and all their Parts are numbered, makes it very easy.”
The third Doctor says:
- "I love doing surgery on Lawyers, they have no Heart, they have no Guts and the Head and the Ass are interchangeable!"
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category: Medical Jokes
My insomnia is so bad, I can't even sleep on the job.
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category: Medical Jokes
The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.
- "What's wrong Marge ?" she asked.
Marge told her that she had "morning sickness." Surprised, the neighbor said,
- "I didn't even know you were pregnant!"
- "I'm not." the harried young woman replied. "I'm just damn sick of mornings."
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category: Medical Jokes
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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category: Medical Jokes
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