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Musician Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Musician Jokes
show: 15 - 21 z 26
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- What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
- Who cares - neither one's a guitar.
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category: Musician Jokes
- How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison?
- Shoot one.
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category: Musician Jokes
A guy walks into the doctor's office and says,
- "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!"
The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him,
- "If it doesn't work, let me know."
A week later the guy is back:
- "Doc, still no movement!"
The doctor says,
- "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative.
Still another week later the poor guy is back:
- "Doc, STILL nothing!"
The doctor, worried, says,
- "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?"
- "I'm a musician."
The doctor looks up and says,
- "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"
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category: Musician Jokes
Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan.
- "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.
The Texan says,
- "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels - I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."
St. Peter says,
- "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"
The second guy in line has been listening, so he says,
- "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."
- "Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"
The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look,
- "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."
- "Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"
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category: Musician Jokes
St. Peter's still checking ID's. He asks a man, "
- What did you do on Earth?"
The man says,
- "I was a doctor."
St. Peter says,
- "Ok, go right through those pearly gates. Next! What did you do on Earth?"
- "I was a school teacher."
- "Go right through those pearly gates. Next! And what did you do on Earth?"
- "I was a musician."
- "Go around the side, up the freight elevator, through the kitchen..."
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category: Musician Jokes
A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for one very faithful oboe player. Finally, as the dress rehearsal drew to a close, the conductor took a moment to thank the oboist for her faithful attendance. She, of course, humbly responded
- "It's the least I could do, since I won't be at the performance."
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category: Musician Jokes
There were two people walking down the street. One was a musician. The other didn't have any money either.
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category: Musician Jokes
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