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Office Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Office Jokes
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Always give 100% at work ... 12% On Monday 23% On Tuesday 40% On Wednesday 20% On Thursday 5% On Fridays And remember... When you're having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your finger and flip them off. Now get back to work.
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category: Office Jokes
In prison a guard locks and unlocks doors for you. At work you carry a security card round with you and you have to unlock and open all the doors yourself.
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category: Office Jokes
A young executive is working late one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8 PM he sees the Big Boss standing by the shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand.
- "Do you know how to work this thing?" the older man asks.
- "My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it."
- "Yes, sir," says the young executive, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the other man, and feeds it in.
- "Now," says his boss, "I just need the one copy
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category: Office Jokes
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow, so naturally he's curious about the sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up to his co-worker and says,
- "I didn't know you were into earrings."
- "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
- "Well, I'm curious," begged the man, "how long have you been wearing an earring?"
- "Er, ever since my wife found it in our bed."
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category: Office Jokes
One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers.
- "I can fix that with some Aspirin. Just take some and I'll be better in a second"
So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls condom after condom out until he finds the Aspirin. He takes it and his blinking goes away. The CEO says
- "We don't approve of womanizing!"
The guy says
- "Oh! No! Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist for aspirin while your winking"
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category: Office Jokes
Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George:
- "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"
Two days later. George to John:
- "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!"
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category: Office Jokes
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said,
- "Hey, where've you been? I haven't seen you around here much."
The twenty answered,
- "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said,
- "You know, same old stuff... church, church, church."
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category: Office Jokes
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