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Parent Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Parent Jokes
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When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter, countless hours of peek-a-boo and other games slowly took their toll. One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to her side and asked where it hurt. She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan,
- "It's the piggy that ate roast beef."
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category: Parent Jokes
My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter. That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said,
- "Families are Forever." And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."
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category: Parent Jokes
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.
- "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.
- "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."
- "Is that a record?" she inquired.
- "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."
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category: Parent Jokes
Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son:
- Father, Can I ask you a question?
Father:
- Ok ask.
Son:
- When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.
Father:
- !!!??????!!!
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category: Parent Jokes
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said,
- "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed,
- "I think Mommy ate it!"
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category: Parent Jokes
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man,
- "Congratulations sir, you're the father of twins."
- "What a coincidence!" the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."
The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man,
- "You, sir, are the father of triplets."
- "Wow, that's really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation. My buddies at work will never let me live this one down."
An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back. This time, she turned to the third man, who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply.
- "Don't tell me another coincidence?" asked the nurse.
After finally regaining his composure, he said,
- "I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."
After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the fourth guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and, after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness. The nurse asked,
- "Sir, are you all right?"
- "Yes" says the man, "I'm o.k. now. I just had a shocking thought. I work at the 7-11 Store."
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category: Parent Jokes
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
- "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."
The son-in-law interrupted,
- "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."
- "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."
- "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."
- "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
- "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
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category: Parent Jokes
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