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Police Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Police Jokes
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A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman,
- "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said,
- "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said,
- "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said,
- "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
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category: Police Jokes
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said
- "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
- "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
- "What fer?", asked Bubba.
- "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said,
- "You boys been drinkin'?"
- "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."
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category: Police Jokes
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
- "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look.
- "As a matter of fact, I do."
- "Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again.
- "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
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category: Police Jokes
- What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
- A small medium at large.
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category: Police Jokes
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied,
- "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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category: Police Jokes
This hillbilly is traveling across Texas when a state policeman pulls him over.
- "You got any I.D.?" the patrolman asked."
- "Bout what?" the hillbilly replied.
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category: Police Jokes
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
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category: Police Jokes
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