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Police Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Police Jokes
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A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
- "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says,
- "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
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category: Police Jokes
The Judge said to the defendant.
- "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again."
- "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
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category: Police Jokes
Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop. One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked down an embankment. The first guy was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.
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category: Police Jokes
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole. Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.
- "Exactly where were you at the time of the accident?" inquired the officer.
- "Mister," exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the pole!"
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category: Police Jokes
Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said,
- "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children."
The next-door neighbor protested,
- "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife replied,
- "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
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category: Police Jokes
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge:
- What were you doing?
1st man:
- Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond.
Judge:
- And what were you doing?
2nd man:
- I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too."
Judge:
- Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?
3rd man:
- No, sir. I AM Peanuts!
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category: Police Jokes
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.
- "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
- "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
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category: Police Jokes
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