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Police Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Police Jokes
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Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?
I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.
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category: Police Jokes
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly,
- "I'm looking for LOVE."
The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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category: Police Jokes
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window...
- "Pull over!"
- "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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category: Police Jokes
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.
- "What did you take?" his priest asked.
- "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake."
- "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?"
- "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
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category: Police Jokes
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says,
- "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says,
- "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
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category: Police Jokes
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
- "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied,
- "Tacks evasion."
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category: Police Jokes
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