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Political Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Political Jokes
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The Post Office briefly considered issuing stamps with Bill and Hillary's faces on them. However, test marketing verified that the customers would spit on the wrong side of the stamps.
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category: Political Jokes
Some say George W. Bush quit drinking because of this incident... Back in his party days, Dubya got behind the wheel after a few too many. He started the car and stepped on the gas. He was driving for a while, when suddenly a white ghost face appeared in the window. George saw it and began screaming. He stepped on the gas harder, but the face floated right in the window. George floored it - the speedometer read 110mph but the face did not disappear. A white hands gestured for him to roll down the window. Not knowing what else to do, he rolled it down slowly. The wrinkled old face smiled and said,
- "Do you want help getting out of the mud?"
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category: Political Jokes
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy:
- "I've got another dress for you to clean."
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies,
- "Come again?"
- "No," says Monica. "Mustard!"
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category: Political Jokes
An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table... then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The father's plan was:
- "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it. Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality ...then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said:
- "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined.. "
- "Our son is going to be a politician!"
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category: Political Jokes
These future bestsellers will not only be popular to the stupid, but they will also save trees. When they come out, you can expect each of them to take up no more than half of a page.
1. Attractive leaders of the Feminist Movement
2. Clinton Policies that actually save money
3. The Logic of the Politically Correct
4. History of the Countries where Socialism worked
5. Good Points of Clinton's Health Program
6. Nazi-Feminists that Makes Sense
7. "The Submissive Woman" by Hillary Clinton.
8. Creating New Jobs in America - by Bill Clinton
9. "Life During Wartime" by Bill Clinton.
10. Avoiding the Tax and Spend Government - by Slick Willy
11. "Why People are More Important than Animals" - Greenpeace
12. "Deep-Thinking Liberals"
13. "The Contribution of Political Correctness to Free Speech"
14. "Why Political Correctness is not Censorship"
15. "The Merits of Gun Control"
16. "Feminists Worth Marrying"
17. "How Mass Unemployment Helps the Economy" by Socialists.
18. "To Tell the Truth" - by President Bill Clinton
19. Unshakeable Principles I Live By - by Bill Clinton
20. The Golden Voice of Roger Clinton
21. Roger Clinton: My Career Without My Brother Bill
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category: Political Jokes
The Clinton Health Plan has the:
1. Simplicity of the IRS.
2. Results of rent control.
3. Efficiency of the Post Office.
4. The fringe benefits of higher taxes
5. Management success of national debt.
6. Bureaucracy of the Dept. of Agriculture.
7. Dependency of a weather forecaster.
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category: Political Jokes
One day about a month ago, Bill Clinton was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge---a blonde , a brunette , and a redhead. To the blonde he said ,
- "I am the president of the united states. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?"
The blonde replied,
- "Two hundred dollars."
To the brunette he posed the same question , and she replied,
- "One hundred dollars."
He then asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied,
- "Mr. President , if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes.... Get my panties as low as my wages...get that thing of yours as hard as the times... Keep it high as the gas prices...keep me warmer than my apartment...and...screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me Mr. President , it ain't gonna cost you a cent."
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category: Political Jokes
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