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Pun Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Pun Jokes
show: 1 - 7 z 33
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A husband went to work at nine in the morning as usual. For some reason he had stopped back to his home later during the day, while running some errands. When he entered the house, he was surprised to see his wife in bed with a man whose head was between her breasts. The husband demanded,
- "What on earth are you doing?"
The stranger stammered,
- "I'm listening to music!"
The husband shoved the stranger aside and said,
- "Let me listen."
So he also shoved his head between his wife's breasts. The husband exclaimed suspiciously,
- "I can't hear any damn music."
- "Of course not," quipped the stranger, "You're not plugged in!"
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category: Pun Jokes
A guy goes running into a sex shop to return his blowup doll. He says to the owner,
- "Excuse me, but I blew this doll up last night and straight away she went down on me. I want my fifty bucks back."
The owner says,
- "Hell, if I'd have known she was going to do that, I'd have charged you seventy-five!"
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category: Pun Jokes
While acquainting himself with a new elderly patient, the doctor asked,
- "How long have you been bedridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered,
- "Why not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
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category: Pun Jokes
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
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category: Pun Jokes
A young lad decided to try his hand at poetry. He figured if he could tap his unconscious mind he would succeed. To execute his plan, he left a pad and pen by his bed so he could write down any thoughts that came to him in the night. Sure enouugh, later that first night, he awoke from a stirring event, and sought to capture those thoughts as they occurred. However, as you might guess, it did not work as he went from bed to verse.
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category: Pun Jokes
While vacationing in the hills of Alabama, the big city man discovered that he had no writing paper at all for his personal correspondence. He went into the small town nearby and found only an old-fashioned country store. Behind the counter was a really nice looking young lass, quite obviously a local farm girl. The city man asked her,
- "Do you keep stationery?"
- "Well," she giggled, "I can until I have an orgasm - Then I just go plain wild and crazy!"
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category: Pun Jokes
The State of Florida had a problem. The drug busts over the years had filled their storage areas with Marijuana. It was decided the only option was to burn all of the Marijuana on hand. The eventful day a huge mound of Marijuana was torched. The fire raged and the smoke of the weed raised in a large cloud. At this time a flock of Terns flew through this cloud. A group of forest rangers (a.k.a. their environmental watch dogs) were sent out to assure the well being of the Terns. They followed this flock until they finally landed. The rangers sneaking upon the terns were able to observe and issue a report that read:
- "Not a Tern was left unstoned."
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category: Pun Jokes
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