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Pun Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Pun Jokes
show: 15 - 21 z 33
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A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a female hitchhiker wearing Really short shorts.
- "Say, What's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck.
- "It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered. "And what's yours?"
- "Me, I'm June, June Hansen," she said.
After a short while, she asked,
- "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?"
- "Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"
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category: Pun Jokes
A few years ago, a man who was openly gay was elected as Mayor of Key West, Florida. After the election results were in, a horde of reporters surrounded him and began asking him questions on how he won. A young reporter walked up to him and said,
- "Mr. Mayor, I understand that you used a basic grass-roots campaign to win, met lots of people, shook lots of hands, kissed lots of babies. I even heard that you kissed a parakeet."
The Mayor replied,
- "That's right, young man. I brought the campaign to the people. But I must correct you on one point - I did not kiss a parakeet. I kissed a cock-or-two."
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category: Pun Jokes
One afternoon, the old drunk stumbled into a podiatrist's office, mistaking it for a whorehouse. The nurse asked him his name, then told him to go behind the screen and stick it out. So, naturally, the old drunk weaved over the screen, dropped his pants, and stuck his thing through the screen. The nurse walked over, shrieked, and dropped her tray of instruments.
- "That's not a foot!" she screamed.
The old drunk replied,
- "Sshorry, lady! I didn't know there was a minimum."
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category: Pun Jokes
The celebrant noticed that the bride was in great distress so asked her what was wrong. She replied that she was nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The celebrant told her that she only needed to remember three things. First the aisle, because that is what you'll be walking down. Secondly, the altar because that is where you will arrive. Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service. While the bride was walking to the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these three words:
- "Aisle, altar, hymn."
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category: Pun Jokes
A priest went into the country to pay a visit to a 92-year-old church member whom he had not seen for some years. She welcomed him into the parlor. While she made tea, he looked around and saw a beautiful old oak pump organ with a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was half filled with water and a condom was floating in it. Astonished and shocked, he turned away. But after tea, his curiosity got the best of him and he asked her about it.
- "Oh, yes," she said enthusiastically. "While in town last year I found a small package on the sidewalk. The directions on the back said, 'Keep wet and place on your organ to prevent disease.' And you know, I think it works. I haven't had a cold all winter."
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category: Pun Jokes
One day, an elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman.
- "Is there something in particular I can show you?" the salesman asked.
- "Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa." the woman replied.
- "You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested.
- "Sectional, schmectional," the woman bitterly retorted. "All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!"
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category: Pun Jokes
One evening, an American walks into a bar in Sydney. He grabs a handful of coins out of his pocket, throws them in the air, pulls a gun, shoots six times and six bullets go through the center of six coins. The American announces,
- "My name is Bill - Buffalo Bill."
Immediately, a Russian jumps up from behind the bar, pulls his pants down and everyone can clearly see he has three enormous d**ks hanging down. The Russian announces,
- "My name, also, is Bill - Chern O. Bill."
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category: Pun Jokes
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