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Relationship Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Relationship Jokes
show: 22 - 28 z 81
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The husband says to his wife,
- "We really got to get rid of it. It's old and smelly."
She replies
- "Yeah I know, it takes up a lot of room in the house and it's scaring the kids."
- "So its settled we're getting rid of it." the husband asks.
The wife nods her agreement,
- "I think so."
- "O.K. I'll go get the car ready, you go get it."
With this the wife goes to the foot of the stairs and yells,
- "Grandpa get ready were going for a ride!"
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category: Relationship Jokes
A husband was just coming out of anaesthesia after having surgery in the hospital, and his faithful wife was sitting at his bedside. His eyes started to open and he quietly uttered,
- "You're beautiful."
He soon drifted back to sleep, and after awhile he woke up and said,
- "You're cute."
- "What happened to beautiful?" she asked him.
- "The drugs are wearing off," he replied.
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category: Relationship Jokes
I met a man who had been married for 66 years.
- "Amazing. 66 years!"
I said.
- "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?"
- "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions... and the woman just makes the little decisions."
- "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?"
- "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"
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category: Relationship Jokes
A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of her husband's description.
- "Mother of six," he would say, "Get me a beer!"
- "Hey mother of six, what's for dinner tonight?"
This type of situation persisted to a boiling point. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yelled out,
- "Hey mother of six, I think it's time to go!"
The wife seized the moment and shouted back,
- "I'll be right with you - father of four!"
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category: Relationship Jokes
Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girl's house. One day he he stops to taunt the little girl. He holds up the football and says
- "See this football? Football is a boys game and girls can't have one!"
The little girl runs in the house crying and tells her mother about the encounter. She runs out and buys the girl a football. The next day the boy is riding home on his bike, and the girl shows him the football, yelling
- "Nah na nah na nah".
The little boy gets mad and points to his bike.
- "See this bike? This is a boys bike, and girls can't have them!"
Next day, the boy comes by and the little girl is riding a new boys bike. Now he is really mad. So he drops his pants, points at his private parts, and says
- "You see THIS? Only BOYS have these and your mother can't go buy you one!"
The next day as he passes the house he asks the little girl
- "Well, what do you have to say NOW?"
So she pulls up her dress, points to her private part and says
- "My mother told me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of THOSE as I want!"
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category: Relationship Jokes
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters,
- "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
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category: Relationship Jokes
A woman calls her husband into the bedroom.
- "Now Mike, I want you to take off my blouse!"
- "Good..."
- "Now I also want you to take off my Bra."
- "Good..."
- "Now can you take off my panties."
- "Very Good! Now, don't let me catch you wearing them again!"
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category: Relationship Jokes
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