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Relationship Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Relationship Jokes
show: 64 - 70 z 81
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Men are like Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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category: Relationship Jokes
Men are like Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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category: Relationship Jokes
Husband's note on the refrigerator to his wife:
- "Doctor's office called: Said Pabst beer is normal"
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category: Relationship Jokes
A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed,
- "Stop! Please! You aren't going to cut it off, are you?"
Placing the saw in her husband's hand and with a gleam of revenge in her eye, the wife replied,
- "Of course not! I'm going to set fire to the shed. You do whatever you have to do!"
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category: Relationship Jokes
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
- "Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
- "Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!
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category: Relationship Jokes
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife,
- "Where did you get that necklace?"
She replies,
- "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."
The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks,
- "Where did you get the bracelet?"
She replies,
- "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."
The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says,
- "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?"
She replies,
- "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper."
Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband,
- "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub."
He replies,
- "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
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category: Relationship Jokes
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
- "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head.
- "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
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category: Relationship Jokes
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