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Relationship Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Relationship Jokes
show: 78 - 81 z 81
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A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.
- "Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.
- "Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"
So, the following night, the husband asks,
- "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"
- "No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.
When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said,
- "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"
- "No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."
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category: Relationship Jokes
Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husbands best mate Peter when suddenly the phone rang. She hopped out of bed and returned to the sweaty sheet after a brief conversation.
- "Who was it? The back stabbing buddy asked.
- "Oh, that was Mick." She replied calmly.
- "Oh shit, I'd better be going then!: he said. "Did Mick say where he was?"
- "Relax - he's down at the pub, playing a few games of pool with you."
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category: Relationship Jokes
It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful; they come home and tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it. Some months later, a neighbor approaches the man as he tends the garden. Neighbor asks,
- "Say, Ed, what was the name of the instructor of that memory course you liked so much?"
Ed replies,
- "Well, it was...hmmm...let me think a minute... What's the name of that flower, you know, the one that smells so nice, but has thorns on the stems...?"
Neighbor says,
- "You mean a rose?"
Ed replies,
- "Yeah, that's it!...(shouting toward house) Hey, Rose, what was that memory course instructor's name?
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category: Relationship Jokes
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says:
- "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says:
- "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says:
- "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse."
Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
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category: Relationship Jokes
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