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School Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - School Jokes
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Mom goes to son's room to wake him up.
- "Okay, son, time to wake up! Time for school!"
Son, in a surly mood says,
- "I don't want to go to school!"
Mother insists,
- "You must, son, now come on!"
Son replies,
- "I don't want to go! The kids all make fun of me. They hit me. They throw things at me! I don't want to go!"
Mother says, gently,
- "Son, you know you have to go to school."
- "Why do I have to go to school?"
Mother replies,
- "Because you're the PRINCIPAL!"
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category: School Jokes
A man entered a restaurant and bar and sat himself at the bar for a drink. He noticed a beautiful girl at the other end of the bar seemingly alone. After some time he picked up his drink and went to sit beside her and asked
- "Can I buy you a drink?"
She replied in a loud voice
- "A motel!"
- "No!" he replied I just offered a drink. All the people in the restaurant were then staring at him.
- "I just offered a drink", he said.
She replied
- "Why should I go with you to a motel?"
- "Oh forget it" he said as he left to return to the other end of the bar. What a kook he thought. About 20 minutes later she came to his end of the bar and said; - "Sir, I'm sorry to have embarrassed you but I am a student at the University and I have to do a term paper on reactions to embarrassing situations. I hope you will forgive me, since this was just part of my research."
He looked at her, and in a very loud voice said,
- "TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS?"
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category: School Jokes
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty joke, Two of the female students in the class decided to walk out on next the next joke. The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said,
- "Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of hookers in Los Vegas?"
With that, the two female students stood up and headed for the door.
- "Wait, ladies," cried the professor. "The bus doesn't leave until tomorrow!"
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category: School Jokes
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said:
- "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
- "Yes, sir," the boys said.
- "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
- "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
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category: School Jokes
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
- "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice from the back of the room rang out,
- "And there's the teacher; she's still old, nasty, and wrinkled"
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category: School Jokes
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.
- "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked.
- "I don't know," the student said.
- "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor.
- "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
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category: School Jokes
- Why do teachers use a bamboo cane?
- Because when the cane goes 'bam' the child goes boo!
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category: School Jokes
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