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Student Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Student Jokes
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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
- "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued,
- "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
- "How much for a season pass?"
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category: Student Jokes
The farmer and his wife had worked hard, scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enroled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being pleased with his new hirsute adornment, he had his picture taken and sent it off to his parents. On the back of the photo he scrawled
- "How do you like it? Don't I look like a count?"
Shortly after, the son received this terse note:
- "You idiot, it cost us a fortune to send you to college, and you can't even spell!"
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category: Student Jokes
A college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family. A wisecracking student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up
- "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students finally settled down, the professor gave the student a long, appraising look.
- "Well", he responded, "I guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"
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category: Student Jokes
A certain professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of himself on the blackboard. Fuming, he asked the class joker in the front row,
- "Who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity?"
The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply,
- "I really don't know, but I strongly suspect its parents."
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category: Student Jokes
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
- "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks,
- "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks,
- "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Philosophy degree asks,
- "Do you want fries with that?"
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category: Student Jokes
A teacher said to her little student Suzy,
- "Punctuate the following sentence: Fun fun fun worry worry worry."
Little Suzy thought for a moment and began her reply,
- "Let's see... Fun period ... fun period ... fun no period ... worry worry worry!"
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category: Student Jokes
While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded,
- "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"
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category: Student Jokes
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