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Travel Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Travel Jokes
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A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight.
- "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person."
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle.
- "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance."
Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said,
- "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt'?"
Only one word leapt to mind - a vulgar one.
- "My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another."
The gentleman thought for a moment, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, he said,
- "I think you're looking for the word 'aunt'."
- "Of course," said the Pope, "Excuse me, but do you happen to have an eraser?"
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category: Travel Jokes
One evening, a man was standing in a hotel lobby. He wanted to ask the clerk a question. As the man turned to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumped into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They were both quite startled. The man turned to her and said,
- "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
To that the woman replied,
- "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
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category: Travel Jokes
Alexander, looking as if he had lost his last friend, entered a restaurant one morning and sat down at a table. Alexander quietly said to the waitress,
- "Bring me two eggs fried hard, a slice of toast burned to a black cinder, and a cup of very weak coffee."
As the waitress set the order in front of him, she asked,
- "Anything else, sir?"
- "Yes," Alexander answered. "Would you please sit down and nag me. I'm homesick."
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category: Travel Jokes
A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York. And as she gave the agent her luggage, she made the smart-ass remark,
- "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."
The confused agent said,
- "I'm sorry, we can't to that."
- "Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because, that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year."
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category: Travel Jokes
A man took a trip out West after a harrowing divorce proceeding. He stopped in a bar, and after a few drinks stated to no one in particular,
- "Lawyers are horses' asses."
Hearing this, one of the locals spoke up,
- "Mister, watch what you say. You're in horse country."
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category: Travel Jokes
Recently, a wife with near maturing pregnancy went to the railway station to return to her home and to her husband, both in the next town. At the reservation counter, when her turn finally came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, the young pregnant woman offered her berth to the old lady. The husband had planned to drive from their house to the train station to meet her. The wife was worried about contacting him before he left, so she hurriedly dashed off a telegram to her husband that read:
- "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
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category: Travel Jokes
A major airlines recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are still pouring in asking,
- "What trip?"
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category: Travel Jokes
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