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Travel Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Travel Jokes
show: 22 - 28 z 85
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A guy was telling his friend at a bar of a hotel they were staying at,
- "You know, I had a woman beating on my door 'til 5am last night!"
- "Oh," said his friend, "what did you do at 5am, then?"
The guy sighed and replied,
- "Well, I let her out."
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category: Travel Jokes
As cab drivers oftentimes do, the driver was darting in and out of heavy traffic with complete abandon. After a few hair-raising blocks, his passenger leaned forward and said,
- "Would you please be more careful? I have six children at home."
- "Scheesch lady." murmured the cabby. "You've got six kids and you've got the nerve to tell me to be careful?"
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category: Travel Jokes
A guy was on a business trip in Texas and bought a really cool pair of snakeskin boots. He can't wait to show his new boots to his wife. Upon returning from his trip late the next evening, his wife is in the bathroom getting ready for bed. He quickly strips down naked except for his new snakeskin boots and stands in the bedroom to wait for her. As the wife emerges from the bathroom her husband asks,
- "Well honey, do you notice anything special?"
The wife replies
- "Yeah, it's limp."
- "It's not limp!" exclaims the husband, "It's admiring my new snakeskin boots."
The wife replied,
- "Too bad you didn't buy a hat instead."
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category: Travel Jokes
An eight-year-old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.
- "If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10 and a piece of candy."
The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again.
- "How about $20 and two pieces of candy?"
The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking. Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.
- "Okay," he says, "this is my final offer. I'll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat."
The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in.
- "Look," he says to the driver. "You bought the Volvo, Dad. You'll have to live with it!"
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category: Travel Jokes
A woman is trying to board a bus, but her skirt is too tight and she can't step up. She reaches behind her and lowers the zipper a bit and tries again. He skirt is still too tight. She reaches behind her and lowers the zipper some more. She still can't get on and lowers the zipper a third time. Suddenly, she feels two hands on her butt, trying to push her up onto the bus. She spins around and says very indignantly,
- "Sir, I do not know you well enough for you to do that!"
The man responds,
- "Lady, I don't know you well enough for you to unzip my fly three times either!"
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category: Travel Jokes
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her that she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies,
- "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says,
- "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies,
- "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
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category: Travel Jokes
While traveling through the Deep South, a salesperson stopped at an inn for a meal. When he was through, he asked to use the bathroom. The proprietor pointed to an outhouse in the back. After taking a decent-sized dump, the man found, to his chagrin, that there was no toilet paper. Instead, there was a small hole in the wall, a slot, and a sign. The sign read,
- "Insert twenty-five cents and your dirty finger will be cleaned with the greatest care, warmth and attention."
Unhappy but having no other choice, the man used his finger to clean his butt, plugged a quarter into the slot, then put his finger in the hole. Unknown to him, a little boy was standing on the other side with a pair of bricks. When the finger came through, the lad smashed it between the bricks! Howling with pain, the man put his finger in his mouth.
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category: Travel Jokes
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