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Travel Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Travel Jokes
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I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a vomit bag. After the plane landed, I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked,
- "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?"
I said,
- "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."
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category: Travel Jokes
A married business executive had to make a trip to Palm Beach alone for his corporation. After a few days, he was enjoying himself so much that he decided to stay another week as part of his vacation. Wanting to share this newly discovered paradise, he wired his bachelor friend:
- "Take the next plane for a fun week on me. Bring my wife and your mistress."
His friend was quick to wire back:
- "Your wife and I arriving tomorrow 11:30 a.m. How long have you known about us?"
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category: Travel Jokes
A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill. Just as he was starting down the equally steep other side, he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center of the road, making wild and passionate love. In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. He realized that they were not going to stop or get out of his way, so he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them. Furious, he got out of the cab and walked to the front of the truck. He looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled,
- "What the hell is the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me blowing the horn? You could have been killed!"
Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver, obviously satisfied and not too concerned and said,
- "Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes."
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category: Travel Jokes
A blonde man from Hope, Arkansas is going on his first overseas trip. He drives all the way into Little Rock to apply for his passport. In the passport office, the government official sees that the blonde guy is visibly puzzled filling his passport application. The passport official looks over his shoulder, and sees the guy trying to write "twice a week" into the small space labeled "SEX." The official explains to the blonde man,
- "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female.'"
The blonde man then writes:
- "Doesn't matter."
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category: Travel Jokes
A passenger plane on a cross country trip runs into a terrible storm. The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightening. The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and they are all going to die. At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims,
- "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and die like an animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die, let me die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
She sees a hand raise in the back, and a muscular man tall and smiling starts to walk up to her seat. As he approachs her, he takes off his shirt. She can see the man's muscles even in the poor lighting of the plane. He stands in front of her, shirt in hand and says to her,
- "I can make you feel like a woman before you die. Are you interested?"
She shakes her head yes. As the man hands her his shirt, he says,
- "Here. Iron this."
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category: Travel Jokes
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says,
- "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says,
- "I've got a better idea. Let's pretend we are married."
- "Why not," giggles the woman.
- "Good," he replies. "Get your own damn blanket."
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category: Travel Jokes
When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt Lake City, Utah, a woman told the man sitting beside her,
- "I understand this is the home of the Mormon religion where husbands believe that it's okay to have more than one wife."
- "That's true," he replied. "As a matter of fact, I happen to be a Mormon myself and I have nine wives."
- "How disgusting," she said. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Such practices should be against the law and you ought to be hung."
With a slight grin, he just said,
- "Yes, Ma'am."
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category: Travel Jokes
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