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Travel Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Travel Jokes
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A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn't know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car two blocks away.
Policeman:
- "License, registration and proof of insurance please."
Driver:
- "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you stopped me for, man."
Policeman:
- "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back there!!"
Driver:
- "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the difference!?!"
The police officer pulled out his night stick and began smashing it over the man's head and shoulders. Policeman:
- "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?
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category: Travel Jokes
A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road.
- "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.
- "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"
- "Well, we work for the county government, " one of the men said.
- "But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"
- "You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us--me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back."
- "Yea," piped up Mike. "Now just because Rodney's sick, that don't mean we can't work, does it?"
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category: Travel Jokes
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
- "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
- "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
- "But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
- "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said,
- "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
- "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
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category: Travel Jokes
A police officer had just pulled a car over. When he walked up to the car a man rolled down the window and said,
- "what's the problem officer?" To which the policeman responded,
- "I stopped you for running that red light behind you." Just then the man's wife leaned forward from the driver's seat and said with a very loud voice,
- "I told him to stop at that light. But did he listen? No. He just kept right on going."
The man then turned to his wife and yelled
- "Shut up stupid!"
The policeman continued,
- "And just before the light I clocked you doing 50 m.p.h. and the speed limit is only 30."
His wife then leaned forward again and squawked
- "I told him to slow down. But did he listen to me. No! He never listens to me."
And again the man shouted at his wife
- "Listen stupid, I told you to SHUT UP!"
The policeman then looked at the woman and said
- "does he always talk to you this way?"
To which the woman responed,
- "Only when he has been drinking."
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category: Travel Jokes
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car. A cloud of feathers.
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said,
- "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him."
- "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "you can go join the other chickens that are around the back."
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category: Travel Jokes
Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
- "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
- "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."
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category: Travel Jokes
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said:
- "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied:
- "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
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category: Travel Jokes
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