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Travel Jokes
Jokes, funny texts - Travel Jokes
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A large two engined train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down.
- "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half power.
Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:
- "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly."
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category: Travel Jokes
A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his automobile.
- "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment, and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he came back he found a parking ticket and this note:
- "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
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category: Travel Jokes
As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.
- "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."
From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim,
- "Wow! It just missed the highway!"
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category: Travel Jokes
Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked,
- "How did these rocks get here?"
- "Sir," said the guide, "they were brought down by a glacier."
The tourist peered up the mountain and said,
- "But I don't see any glacier."
- "Oh, really?" said the guide. "I guess it has gone back for more rocks."
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category: Travel Jokes
In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse. They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading.
The other one politely asks,
- "When you've finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?"
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category: Travel Jokes
A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist then queries how old the temple is.
- "This temple is 1503 years old", replies the guide.
Impressed at this accurate dating, he inquires as to how he gave this precise figure.
- "Easy", replies the guide, "the archaeologists said the temple was 1500 years old, and that was three years ago"
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category: Travel Jokes
I was driving down a lonely country road one cold winter day when it began to sleet pretty heavily. My windows were getting icy and my wiper blades were badly worn and quickly fell apart under the strain. Unable to drive any further because of the ice building up on my front window I suddenly had a great idea. I stopped and began to overturn large rocks until I located two very lethargic hibernating rattle snakes. I grabbed them up, straightened them out flat and installed them on my blades and they worked just fine.
What! You've never heard of . . . wind chilled vipers?
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category: Travel Jokes
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